That'll Cost You an Arm and a Leg

I've often wondered "just how much IS 'an arm and a leg'?" Well, folks, we have an answer for you.
We received an offer in the mail for free AD&D insurance with one of our credit cards. Upon reading the fine print, we had a good laugh. This insurance is completely free (just for being a card holder) and is payable up to $1000. So, according to this statement, to receive 100% payment (yep, that $1000), you would have to lose one of the following combinations:
life
both feet (required to be completely severed through or above the ankle)
both hands (required to be completely severed through or below the wrist)
both eyes (hope you're a mom so that you have two spare in the back of your head)
one foot and one hand (see, I told you it was here!)
one foot OR one hand AND sight in one eye (glad you got options, like a side salad OR soup)
loss of speech and hearing in both ears (i didn't know you had speech in either of your ears)

Curious to what qualifies you for %50 payout? Half the pain, half the moola. The following losses:
one hand
one foot
one eye
speech
hearing in both ears (nada if it's only in one ear)

But what if you don't lose a whole hand? Maybe you just lose half a hand or fingers? The only way to get some cash on that (but only %25) is to lose not only a thumb AND an index finger, but they also have to be from the same hand, completely severed through or above the metacarpophalangeal joint.

Since they haven't up to this point discriminated hands vs. feet, you would think the same would apply to loss of toes...nope. Lose your toes and they just laugh at you as your sense of balance is out of whack, accidentally bumping into the door frame as you leave the office.

Final question...Aren't there more important parts of your body than fingers and feet....like kidneys or livers... These parts are nowhere to be found in the insurance plan and are presumably non-payable. Too bad if you have an accident in which part of your torso is whacked off.