Before you think that I don't have fun or even know HOW to have fun, let me assure you that I do. It's not the crazy I-can't-remember-exactly-what-happened kind of event...I rather prefer remembering the things I do and KNOWING that I enjoyed every minute of it because I can recall with clarity what went on. Along with that, I also believe that having fun can happen by keeping all "rules," "laws," and social "etiquette."
My daughter recently participated in "Hat Day" at school. We gave her the option to do this as it was a fundraiser the school participates in. I get that. But still, I am a little leery of these kinds of events because it teaches that if you PAY you can break the rules.
So, now we are coming to school spirit week. Again, there will be a hat day and a camouflage day. Both of these items are prohibited by the school's rules. I just really wonder why we are teaching children that an occasional lapse from the rules is okay. It isn't. Or, if it is, then the rule was ridiculous in the first place. Take your pick.
I'm constantly hearing from older generations about how my generation and those under me are full of disrespectful people. In fact, it has been publicized that we live in an "I deserve society" and I deserve it "NOW" without having to put in the hard work. Well, then, I ask, who taught us? Where was the bending of the rules that allowed us down this path in the first place. It isn't like we had a big social revolution where my generation fought for these changes. They were allowed to happen, which means some leniency granted from the previous generations.
And so, I look at these little social things that we do in our schools, our churches, our clubs, and with our friends and family that bend the rules on some point of justification. Is it really helping the kids to teach this, or could we, with a little effort, teach them how to "let loose" the correct way and not break rules just because they are the obvious choice for "freedom".
What are your thoughts? What do these things really teach our kids?...and please explain your point of view.
5 comments:
After I read this I mentioned it to my husband and then my sister-in-law and asked what their thoughts about it were. They both said that they thought it was a little extreme to worry about "breaking rules" like hat day or camouflage day. That was also how I felt when I read this post. I can see your point in questioning why certain rules are even made if they're okay to break... but I think children and younger adults have a lot of rules that are okay to break when they get older - they just have them because they need more guidance at a younger age, and as they get older and more mature they can make those decisions for themselves so they no longer need those rules. I think one example is the no-dating-til-you're-16 rule. Why does it become okay to date from one day to the next (on your 16th birthday)? It's not because dating was inherently wrong, it's just because as a child/young adult matures, he/she becomes more capable of handling that responsibility. I think the same goes for things like "hat day" or "pajama day" or whatever fun day a school chooses to host. Maybe they don't usually allow children to wear those things because SOME children would take it to extremes (or their parents wouldn't monitor them and would LET them take it to the extreme) so they have to have the rule for everyone just to maintain things. But when they have one day set aside where they can allow that, but in a way that it's still monitored, it shows the kids that, yes, this is OKAY when it's kept within certain boundaries... I don't know if that makes sense, but I guess that's how I see it. I do agree with you that if a rule is not necessary then it shouldn't be there, but then I can see why some rules have to be there for places like schools. They have to set rules for EVERYONE just because it would be a problem for a select few.
If a rule really does matter - like living the Law of Chastity - then it will always be in place no matter what age or place in life you're at. So I guess that's how I see the difference... the Law of Chastity is an ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS rule (because it IS inherently wrong to break that commandment), but the don't-date-til-16 rule is applicable only to a certain age (because it's only necessary for maturity reasons)... and I think there are a lot of rules that differ in that way (not necessarily commandments, but just rules in society). I personally wouldn't worry about what my child learns from having "hat day" at school. If he's learning in the home what commandments are and WHY Heavenly Father gives them to us (because He loves us and wants us to be happy), then I think he will naturally learn to discern the difference between society's less meaningful rules and the ones that really matter. Anyway I could go on and on about my personal thoughts on rules and boundaries set by society and others, but it would take too long! I just like what Joseph Smith said: "I teach the people correct principles, and they govern themselves" (not sure where that quote originally came from, but here's an article that mentions it and is applicable to this post: http://lds.org/ensign/1972/03/editorial-the-dimensions-of-morality?lang=eng). I have found myself to be a very independent, stubborn person, and I do NOT enjoy having a lot of rules or boundaries (one of the things I struggled with as a missionary). I have a strong tendency to want to rebel when someone tries to place a lot of rules on me. But on the other hand I have a very strong tendency to want to do what's right when I am led in love and by true example. I think this tendency is inherent in most people who are independent and stubborn (the natural man). We all know that some rules are very important and necessary, but they're not important just because they're a rule, they're important because they lead us to greater happiness and love. When parents/teachers teach that by example, I think rules and commandments are much more meaningful and people are much more likely to follow them. I really hope that I'll be able to teach my children in that way and that they will learn to be independent and make choices based on what they KNOW is right and based on the knowledge that Heavenly Father (and my husband and I) love them and just want them to be happy. I don't think it would bother me in the least if my child questioned a school rule and whether or not he should have to follow it - I would gladly welcome the opportunity to teach him about his independence and agency. But maybe it's easy to say that now since my child is still just kicking me in the womb... haha, we'll see! But I do love that quote from Joseph Smith about teaching correct principles and allowing people to govern themselves... that is how I like to be taught and live and that is how I hope to teach my children, and I hope I'll be able to have the confidence to trust them in governing themselves more and more as they mature. Those are some of my rambling thoughts, and now I've gone on way too long!
My comment was so long that it made me post it in 2 sections! haha! Sorry!
I guess I should mention that camouflage was banned under the same ruling for gang colors, which is a really big deal in our city.
And, btw, wearing a hat inside any building is a social faux pas and is a sign of disrespect. Therefore, it is a social rule that is being broken.
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